Embrace Your Dark Side

Notes from my ego:

Ego is my friend.

Ego and I are one.

I love my ego.

There is nothing wrong with me, unless you ask the people closest to me. An energy healer once told me I had a big ego. At first, I thought it was not good and I needed to lose my ego. I sought healing and I found a way to express my belief in faith without religion. Spirituality is the way I would describe my chosen label. I also believe that religion is such a wonderful thing. Religion is an expression of faith. My heart spoke in the language of love and my ego listened.

My ego heard my heart sing and it fell in love with my soul.

I learned to love myself.

Some may use the word crazy to describe me and I am flattered.

When you find yourself, you love yourself.

This I practice everyday.

I practice loving myself.

My ego was full of fear and self-doubt. My ego controlled my life. My heart was broken. I grew up in a very different time. I grew up with rules and expectations. I didnʻt follow the rules or live up to expectations of others but I grew up without expectations for myself. I didnʻt understand because I didnʻt understand the world. I still donʻt understand the world but I cannot change the world. The only world I can change is mine. With this thought, I realized that my ego is not a bad thing.

I saw my ego.

I saw myself.

I am my ego.

My ego is me.

We are one. Thatʻs so cliche but fuck it.

My ego is my friend.

We talk.

We laugh.

We see and sometimes we react inappropriately. Sometimes we act inappropriately. We are learning to work together to act appropriately and inappropriately at the proper time.

We are Me.

And Iʻm telling myself thank you. It is with great love that I am able to forgive myself for being myself. Every choice is me, not me vs. my ego. I am my ego so I am the reason why I have hardships or make choices that hurt myself. I have followed my path and I now ask forgiveness to others I may have hurt. I offer prayers and blessings of love. My gratitude for you allowing me to make mistakes of inappropriate behavior or harmful actions which hurt your feelings. I didnʻt know how to be the person I am now.

I can still be described as having a big ego and I also work to use my big ego to help my soul and heal my heart. I know and understand that I am learning and I will make more mistakes. I also forgive myself as I walk this path.

My path is filled with light and shadow.

I am light and dark.

My life is experienced in harmony with the duality.

There is no ego.

There is only me.

My fears and worries are loved and accepted. They come and go. They are only thoughts. When they bring tea and come to sit in my head, I do not have tea with them. Then they pass. Sometimes they come back and I chat with them. Then they go.

My mistakes are recognized and they are my teachers. They are my reminders of the never ending learning process, they are part of my practice. They keep me growing.

I have conversations in my head.

Different thoughts and perspectives clash.

Sometimes I act and I learn lessons to let go.

I see things with the same eyes.

Different thoughts and perspectives flow.

Living in the light and dark as I embrace myself.

I know myself.

Perfectly imperfect life.

Smiling an evil mother fucking smile and laughing at myself in my darkness. My shadow from my light knowing the world and knowing my world and being… being in love with myself. I am working to help myself be myself. I am not only filled with fear and self-doubt. I am also filled with arrogance. I am balanced. I keep myself balanced and I am learning to ask for help. I allow the cosmos to answer when I am ready to be helped. Time is not the measure, I am the measure. I am the balance. I am my dark side and I embrace myself for having darkness that helps me learn gratitude, forgiveness, and love.

Be your dark side.

 

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