7.26.2016

Today I realized that I don’t take care of myself so that I feel physically in tune with the modern world. I take care of myself on many levels but the physical body with the material appearance is one I have allowed to overlook. So today, I shopped and pampered myself. I ate without worry and I ate some of my favorite foods. Biscuits and gravy with eggs and homestyle potatoes for brunch. Sushi with fresh seafood for dinner. It was a self-indulgent day and I feel selfish.

It’s nice to be selfish for a day.

I needed to be selfish for a day.

I was distracted and irresponsible in societal duties. I was unproductive for others. My house is a mess with dishes in the sink, a huge pile of laundry, banking needs to be done, financial matters were overlooked, and my car needs some looking at. I was so emotionally drained. I had to be selfish.

Work has been keeping me busy. I work a few jobs because I need to be financially responsible. Financial responsibility is not one of my strong suits because I choose not to focus on money but I am learning. Everyone discusses the ability to make money as a yoga teacher. The first thing I would like to say about that is that I am not a yoga teacher. I live yoga. Yoga is my passion and I share my passion to make a living. I am blessed beyond belief because I live a dream.

Believing in dreams is important to me. Dreams spark our imagination. Dreams give hope and disappointment. Dreams have goals and dreams fail.

Dreams can be reality.

You can live your dream life.

I do.

Honestly, there are moments of struggle. There are moments of regression. There are hardships. These moments are also balanced with moments of growth; moments of change; moments of gratitude and pleasure that in the balance teach me appreciation for all the moments. These moments flow and I live in a flow of abundance. My life’s journey is on a path that is in harmony with my destiny. I am where I am meant to be.

Looking in the mirror is the most difficult aspect of my life. I see an angel and I see a devil. I see myself as the angel and as the devil. I see myself as a lover, a fighter, a warrior, a goddess, a woman, a simple human whose imperfections let me see the perfection of being imperfect.

Conditioned and trained in the ways of modern society leave me seeking answers to questions that haunt humans throughout time. The what, the why, the who, the how and, the where are beyond my control but not beyond my understanding. Self-preservation, self-care, self-love are part of being selfish. Many will discuss selfishness and how bad it is but without selfishness, without taking care of oneself, how can one take care of others… by taking care of myself, I will be able to continue to take care of others.

I’m ready to dream.

I’m ready to live.

I’m ready to live my dreams.

 

 

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